Baby Loss Awareness Week: You don’t have to grieve alone

There are some losses so difficult that it’s hard to find the words.

This is especially true for any parents who have experienced the loss of their baby. The loss of a baby can change everything. If you’ve experienced baby loss any feelings you have are valid.  You can be left heartbroken, angry, confused, numb or even unable to understand how the world keeps moving when yours has seemingly stopped.

Baby Loss Awareness Week is held every year to remember all babies gone too soon and support parents and families who have experienced loss. The week usually starts October 9th and runs until October 15th, culminating in the Wave of Light, where at 7pm people light a candle to create a continuous wave of light in memory of much-loved babies. It’s supported by over 60 charities including Tommys, Sands, The Lullaby Trust and The Miscarriage Association.

We are so sorry to hear of any parents who have experienced baby loss. Know that you are not alone and there is help available. You do not have to grieve in a particular way, and you do not have to go through it alone.

Try to give yourself permission to take each day as it comes. Some days you might want to talk about your baby. Other days you might not want to talk about them at all. Sometimes you may be feeling a range of emotions and other days you may feel emotionally numb. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and grief can change over time.   

Baby Loss Awareness Week can itself stir up difficult emotions. Maybe you want to remember your baby during this time and join the wave of light. Maybe seeing awareness campaigns is too painful and you want to take a step back and switch off social media. Whatever self-care looks like for you, take the time or space that you need, or find comfort in other people’s stories.

Looking after yourself isn’t forgetting your baby. Sometimes it’s simply recognising that you are grieving and need care too.

Remember that asking for help is brave and you don’t have to wait until things become unbearable to ask for the support you need.

Your GP, midwife or health visitor can provide support or direct you towards specialist bereavement services. There is also other specialist organisations dedicated to supporting bereaved parents. Here are just a few of the incredible organisations out there that can provide information and support.

• Sands: support for anyone who has been affected by pregnancy loss or the death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth. They offer group support and an online community for bereaved families to connect with each other.

• Lullaby Trust: bereavement support for anyone affected by the sudden loss of a baby or young child. They offer a confidential helpline, befriending and free family days out.

• Miscarriage UK: support for healthcare professionals and parents who have experienced pregnancy loss.

• Tommy’s: the leading charity funding pregnancy research in the UK. They also provide a range of information and baby loss support for parents and families following miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy and stillbirth.

Baby Loss Awareness Week is about helping parents during difficult times and reminding people that they are not alone, and they don’t have to suffer in silence. Everyone grieves differently and there is no timeline or expiry date for grief. We can listen and we can remember the babies who are no longer here. In creating a safe space and allowing honest conversations we can help to support parents, siblings and grandparents whose lives have been changed by baby loss.